Holiday time at last – but strictly by the book, please

Germans on holiday? There are quite a clichés. But are they true? Well, every stereotype has a grain of truth.  

In many German households, nerves start getting frayed long before the holiday gets under way – after all, relaxation requires meticulous and efficient planning: with Excel packing lists, precise itineraries, restaurant bookings made months in advance, a detailed children’s activity schedule, and weather reports every 30 minutes.  

Pitching the tent by the book 

What do Germans take with them on their vacation? In addition to the obligatory bikes on – or behind – the car, holiday items include: a folding table, sunshade, wellies, toolbox, sandwich tin, and two Thermos flasks – one for hot, one for cold. They often choose as it’s cheaper – though putting up the tent according to the instructions takes up an entire day of the holiday. But then again, it comes with mattress, slatted frame and ergonomic pillow. 

A lot of Germans travel by motorhome – though it is questionable whether this really makes them any more mobile. Bigger than a three-room apartment, these rolling, refrigerator-like beasts come equipped with a giant awning, a solar panel, a satellite dish, a wingback armchair and a high-tech barbecue.  

Some say you can always spot German holidaymakers – whether on the North Sea coast, in Tuscany or the Maldives – by their muted-tone, breathable performance clothing, or their tactical skill in reserving the best sun loungers with towels at 7 a.m.  

Walking encyclopedias 

Then there are the German intellectuals – often retired teachers – who don’t miss out on a single museum or church and have read up so thoroughly beforehand that they’re able to supplement or gently correct the tour guides’ explanations.  

And yes – there some Germans who measure the quality of their vacation in units of alcohol, knocking back beer by the bucket or sampling colourful cocktails at the beach bar. 

But there are also plenty of German tourists who are just like all the others: gathering for the obligatory sunset photo at the local scenic hotspot – as proof they really were there, had a great time and were totally relaxed. Right before they begin carefully planning the return journey.